To many people who are fans of "Mystery Science Theater 3000", this movie served as the first movie Mike Nelson suffered through. So to kick off Halloweenfest I figured I'll make this the first movie. And what sucks is apparently this version I have is some sort of Morman censored version, which just sucks. The catfight-gone! The scene where the guy's arm is pulled off and he runs around without it-gone! What the hell? So this review is of the crappy censored version.
Dr. Bill Cortner and his father, also Dr. Cortner I'm assuming, are in an operating room working on a patient. Dr. Dad messes up so Bill takes over and through weird techniques that apparently is "against the book", he saves the patient. After a 20 minute scene with just dialogue saying that what Bill practices is evil, Dad leaves. Bill gets an urgent message so he and his girlfriend Jan take off.
Apparently Bill wanted a threesome or something, cause he was driving like a maniac and ends up totalling the car. Bill is alright but Jan...well she didn't quite make it. Bill, I'm guessing not knowing what else to do, takes Jan's head and runs like a quaterback.
He arrives at the country house where Kurt is waiting. They get to work and put Jan's head in a dish full of life saving water or something. As a result of this Jan comes back to life and BOY does she talk up a storm. Now all Bill has to do is hunt down a body for Jan.
So he ogles and gropes as many women as he can, trying them all out before commiting to a purchase. When Bill meets up with a friend from school, they talk about Doris and how she was in a horrible accident that left her disfigured forever.
So, as you probably guessed, Bill pays her a visit, says "WHOA!!" and decides to lop her head off. While all of this is going on, Jan becomes friends with whatever the hell that thing is in the closet. Well, I know what that thing is. It's the result of Bill putting random arms and legs and torsos together and bringing it to life. Seriously.
So Jan becomes that monsters Martin Luther King, Jr by saying it has a dream and makes it kill Kurt (I wish I could've seen it, grr) and she wants to stop Bill from going through this whole thing. But Bill drugs Doris and is about to chop the head off when the thing in the closet attacks and all hell breaks loose.
The thing gets free, a fire is started somehow, Bill is dead, the thing saves Doris, and Jan dies in the fire. And because this is a 1950's movie, it ends rather abruptly. So that's basically it then. |
