The Gingerdead Man
Guest Reviewed by Bill Szany.
Gary Busey as Millard Findlemeyer & The voice of The Gingerdead Man.
This pretty girl.
This other pretty girl who has a sexy thick Spanish accent for two minutes but it quickly disappears.
This decent looking bitch who was voted “Miss Pretty Face”, even though the other two girls are much prettier.
This extremely corny wrestling fanatic.
This hot buff guy who is only seeing "Miss Pretty Face" cuz she buys the beer and pizza.
This crazy drunk lady with a shotgun who's also the first main pretty girl’s mother.
This corny weird guy that owns a restaurant across the street and is trying to get rid of their bakery, and he’s also the hot buff guy’s father.
The Gingerdead Man, not to be mistaken for The Gingerbread Man of course, starts off with Gary Busey at his finest as Millard.. The brilliant Comedy Central superstar walks into a restaurant and begins blowing away patrons with his pistol while firmly closing one of his eyes. This old guy decides he just cannot stand for this rudeness, so he decides “something must be done”. He pulls out his trusty pocketknife,announces "I’m gonna get you!!!!”, and races towards Millard with it. He somehow manages to shoot him before the old man gets close enough to stab him. There’s still a girl and her brother hiding in a booth. Millard notices that “there’s someone in here” and that he can "smell something in the air. I smell something… feminine”. The guy hiding of course walks out then, hoping Millard will think he’s a gay feminine scent wearing lad.

The guy asks Millard to drop his gun, but the tension builds as he taunts him and pokes fun at the way he’s asking him to drop the gun. Somehow Millard ends up killing the guy with a knife, when the guy tries to grab the gun that was so conveniently placed in front of him. Then only the girl is left. Millard tells her he will not hurt her, but his momma always told him he needs to finish things he’s started so.. then he has some kind of inner argument with himself and gets so frustrated that he starts huffing and puffing and rubbing his eyes(the good one and strangly enough, the closed up one).

Now the true plot slowly kicks in. The main pretty girl owns a bakery with her lush mother who likes to shoot things with a shotgun. We see the pretty girl at work and meet her on again-off-again Spanish-accented hot friend, who works for her. We also meet this corny wrestling fanatic who likes to talk to himself and announce himself as if he’s entering a wrestling ring. This strange package is left by a mysterious woman in a cape, so the pretty girl decides it must be a late delivery, of course, because that is the logical explanation.

The wrestling guy, after reading on the package where it says “Gingerbread Seasoning”, say’s “Hmm, that must be the Gingerbread Seasoning”. As he is opening the package he slices his hand open on accident, so he and the pretty girl quickly hold his bloody hand over the Gingerbread Seasoning as fast as possible, because that is the most sensible reaction to a wound that is inflicted in a food environment.

We are given several minor hints around this time that Millard has been executed by the electric chair. One subtle hint is the several newspaper clippings the camera zooms in on along the wall stating that Millard has been executed. We are also slightly informed that Millard swore he would get the pretty girl, even from beyond the grave!!!

Moments after the tragic and extremely sanitary hand event, the corny wounded wrestling nerd decides to be a swell guy and start mixing up the bloody Gingerbread seasoning like any normal minded young man would do in his position.

The girl who is very thankful, sends him home, so she can finish the cookie herself. But wait!!!! Miss Pretty Face USA or Waco or whatever, who is this not that great looking blonde girl, puts a rat in the bakery to get her bakery shut down. An intentionally sexy fight ensues, as the pretty girl shoves a pie in Miss Pretty Face’s face. As the fight wages, they accidentally fly into a generator or fuse box or something and sparks fly naturally, and electricity flies into the oven. This of course, as anyone knows, triggers Gingerbread Men to come to life.

From here on out, "The Gingerdead Man" is alive and bloodthirsty. One of his best achievements is when he apparently covered the pretty “Spanish” girl’s nude body in frosting, even though we didn’t get to actually witness it.

Basically the hot guy comes in looking for Miss Pretty Face (whom he fools around with) because he was “waiting a really long time for her out in the car”. See, he was oblivious to her devious sinister rat fiasco plan. She told him she was just leaving pretty girl a note. He flirts with pretty girl, and Pretty Face gets jealous. At one point the electricity goes out, so everyone decides it would be best not to leave the premises at any point. Things continue to happen in wild unbelievable ways, and "The Gingerdead Man" seems to be getting the best of them all, even the hunk!!! So, naturally the corny Wrestling fanatic notices while peeping into the bakery’s window that something seems strange.. Dum! Dum! Duuum!!!

So, he breaks into the place and quickly assumes that the Gingerbread Man he was baking earlier had come to life and went on a murder spree, as he had figured it might. He decides that he needs to bail his more superior and beautiful preppy co-workers and peers out of their dilemma, because only a dork can save the day in such a fashion. This way, if he succeeds, they will briefly look past his nerdiness and be glad they know him.
So, he quickly defeats the angry cookie, by eating him and then asking everyone… “Got Milk?”.

Yay!!! The Wrestling fan saves the day!!! Movie over… or is it?? Actually, no, it’s not.
Turns out as the surviving victims start finally fleeing the building(which they could have done at any point I might add) and as gather outside, the wrestling guy comes out to defeat them!!! What???! Yes, he is possessed by Gary Busey… sorry, Millard. What should we do now, they ask themselves, and the answer is of course, throw the bastard in the oven and blow him up!!! The End.
Yes, it sucks. It is awful from start to finish. However it’s awful in the best way possible. It’s so awful that it’s great. In the tradition of movies like “Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2” and “Leprechaun”, it’s just a laugh riot and a total blast! If you cannot find joy in a movie being so bad it’s good, then don’t bother. If you can appreciate awful cinema being great cinema, then you must see this… heck, you must buy it. I know I plan to own it ASAP. We are talking Gary Busey at his finest here, as Millard Findlemeyer aaaaand the voice of the Gingerdead Man!!! Plus what other movie will you get to see Gary Busey firmly closing his eye, saying he smells something feminine and then later stating as the Gingerdead Man, “Well, it ain’t the fuckin’ Pillsbury Doughboy”?
Read The Reviews!