| Halloween 3: Season of The Witch Cameo by Michael Meyers |
 |
 |
| Dan-Doctor dude who apparently can take a week off of work to investigate ONE strange death. Ellie-Hot girl who wants to know what happened to her father. Likes older boozed up doctors apparently. Henry-Ellie's father. Found out what's been going on at Silver Shamrock and got killed for it. Looks like Jack Palance. Teddy-Another hot girl who does whatever Dan tells her to do. Investigate this car, track down this guy. I think she hasn't been home in a week. Sadly, she gets killed before she can get naked. Mr. Cochran-President of Silver Shamrock. Is sort of mental. Buddy, Betty, and Buddy, Jr-Annoying family who won a free trip to Silver Shamrock. Thankfully they get eaten by snakes and bugs. Long story. Marge-Borderline annoying with anger management issues. Becomes an accidental victim to Cochran's plan. |
|
 |
| When you see there's a movie titled "Halloween 3", knowing what "Halloween" and "Halloween 2" is, you sort of have some expectations, right? Well, don't, cause you'll just be dissapointed and probably wanna sue someone. Just don't sue me.
Henry is running from some strange guys in suits and he ends up at a gas station. The attendant takes him to the hospital where he meets the attention of Dan. When Henry is turned into Jack Palance (Meaning dead), Dan is confused, especially when one of the suited thugs kills himself in his car. While drinking his problem's away, Ellie comes to him asking for his help to figure out why Daddy died. Realizing she's a hot piece of ass he agrees and off they go to Santa Mara, the home of Silver Shamrock, the company that makes the world famous Halloween masks. There they meet some strange people, including Buddy, Betty, Buddy Jr, and Marge. While Dan and Ellie were knockin' the boots, Marge tampers with some computer chip found on the mask and she gets her face fried off. Cochran comes and takes her body to "help her". After touring the factory and realizing some crazy ass shit is going down, and Ellie gets kidnapped, Dan breaks into the factory and immeditely gets captured by Cochran. Cochran tells Dan his plan which involves this. While kids all around the country (maybe the world?) watch the god awful annoying commericals while wearing the masks, the kids will melt into some goo and a bunch of snakes and bugs will come out and kill everyone in the house. How does this work? We're not exactly clear. It has something to do with Stonehedge, which Cochran somehow managed to steal. To demonstrate how this works, we watch Buddy, Betty, and Buddy, Jr. get killed by snakes and bugs. Dan manages to escape and he decides to stop Cochran by having everybody in the factory get destroyed by bugs and snakes. Something weird and vague happens to Cochran and the factory burns down. While driving away from the factory, Dan finds out Ellie, much like Cochran's goons, is a killing robot!! After Dan stops her, he calls all the TV networks, all three of them (??), and begs them to turn the commericals off. Only two of them do in time. What about the third one? We'll never know... |
|
 |
| Now the reason this movie exists is simple. John Carpenter wanted Michael Meyers dead, hence him getting blown up good in Halloween 2. (Sorry if I ruined it for you all, but you should know better). So every year on Halloween, he was going to release a Twilight Zone type movie having to do with Halloween. That's cool and all and it would've worked, but don't called it "Halloween 3" acting like it's part of the series when it isn't. Just call it, I dunno, "John Carpenter's Scary Ass Shit Happening On Halloween Series Part 1: Masks A Go-Go".
Seriously, this movie isn't that bad, it's a little slow and you don't really get the storyline, and it seems like things just happen for no reason, like Cochran getting blown up by Stonehedge, but it could've been better. Happy Halloween! From Silver Shamrock!! |
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |