They Saved Hitler's Brain
More Like "They Saved The Other Movie
About Hitler's Brain!"
Vic-Mustachio'd secret agent of sorts. Is extremly sexist.
Toni-Female secret agent who won't put up with men's bullshit.
The Head of C.I.D-Vic and Toni's boss.
Professor Coleman-Brilliant scientist who invented an antidote to a deadly nerve gas.
Phil-Another C.I.D agent and Coleman's son-in-law. Despite being kidnapped and coming face-to-face with the disembodied head of Hitler, is a laid back jokester type.
Cathy/Casey-Phil's wife. Kind of an air head.
Suzanne-Cathy's sister. She's a cool hip cat, daddio. You dig?
El Presidente-President of the country of Mandoras, where 85% of this movie takes place. The other 15% take place in another film altogether.
The Chief-Chief of Police in Mandoras.
Camino-El Presidente's son. Is helping Phil and Cathy take down the Nazi's and Hitler. (Weirdest thing I think I ever typed.)
Other Mandoras People, Germans, Nazi's, and a Texan Dude-Random ass group of people that pop up.
Adolph Hitler-You know, this is the second time he's popped up on this site. That says something. Anyway, he's just a head in a jar but he can still exterminate your ass.
"They Saved Hitler's Brain" is one of those movies where you hear the title and you say "I gotta see that". Well, maybe you only say that when you're me. And most likely you're not me. And if you are, then how is that possible?

Ok, let's start over.

"They Saved Hitler's Brain" is actually a longer version of a movie called "The Madmen of Mandoras". The difference between the two is the added 20 minutes at the beginning, which end up having little to nothing to do with the main story, which is basically Hitler's head in a jar.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.

So "Hitler's Brain" starts off with your typical scientist leaving his office carrying some super secret papers that mean something. Two hitmen who sport Father Guido Sarducci mustaches manage to blow him up in his car.

Now we go to C.I.D Headquarters. What C.I.D stands for is never really explained but let's just roll with it, shall we? The Head of C.I.D calls in Vic, a special agent. The Head tells Vic about scientist dude blowing up and how he died protecting an antidote to some special gas called G-Gas, which can kill humans (and elephants) in an instant. The antidote reverses the G-Gas effect. Sadly, there's no cure for the Axe Effect.

Vic is ordered to figure out who killed scientist while Head is revealed to be working with the bad guys! NOO!! Vic is also given a new partner, Toni, who ends up being a woman, much to the dismay of Vic. Vic is passive-aggressive with his sexism but Toni sees through it and they end up bickering like a 30-year-old married couple.
Oddly enough, this movie started off ok. It seemed like a cheap spy thriller, then they threw in stupid dialogue and an even stupider plot involving Hitler's head and it turned into a jumbled mess. I got this movie has a 8-Pack DVD set, with "Madmen of Mondoras" on the flip side of this DVD. I should watch it someday to see if anything is really that different. But, someday isn't anytime soon, my friends.
Read The Reviews!
Strange place to store Hitler's Brain...oh I'm getting A HEAD! (HA!)
Apparently, they didn't save Hitler's car.
Starring Keith Hernandez!
This is where you have to live when you rent from Kareem Abdul Jabbar.
By the way, this is the stuff that was added to "Madmen". They filmed this years later, when Color was finally invented but they shot it in black and white, so this footage looks like color footage turned black and white. And Vic is sporting an obvious 70's 'stache. And Toni rocks the VW Bug. Despite this story happening in the 60's. I guess they were just ahead of their time.

We're introduced to Professor Coleman, who is "the other professor with the antidote" (in other words, he was the main antidote dude in "Madmen" but now he's the third wheel here. He's kinda like what Ringo was to The Beatles) and he needs protecting, which is what Toni's suppose to be doing.

She does a shitty job of it as he's kidnapped by mysterious men in suits. They're suppose to be the same guys as the Sarducci 'staches, but they're obviously not. Toni follows the 10-year-old film footage to some secret location where she's immediately discovered. The Sarducci's give chase and while Toni calls Vic, they shoot her.

Vic goes to the address Toni shouted before getting shot and finds Head of C.I.D there. Head is about to shoot Vic but Head suddenly ends up very dead. Before there's any confusion, Toni stumbles in. Did I say "before there's any confusion" cause there's confusion now. How did she stumble back to the place, which had to have been at least 5 miles away? I guess she got shot, fell down, got back up, got in her car, drove to the house, saw Head, knew he was a traitor, shot him, and then decided to die. Makes sense now.

Mustache Twins come back home (no sign of Professor Coleman by the way, cause he's in another movie) and they find all the dead bodies. Vic escapes through the window and 'Stache's give chase. They managed to get a bullet in him which makes it hard for Vic to stay awake. He ends up passing out and running into a power line, thus killing him.

Well, now that we got THAT out of way, onto our story.
Also starring Alfred Hitchcock!
"Top? What does 'top' mean? Oh STOP! OH SHI-" *crash burn die*
We're introduced to Phil and his wife Cathy, who goes by the name Casey sometimes. They're about to go out for a night on the town when some nervous Ethnic fellow appears, begging Phil and Cathy to go with him. He tells them he needs their help and that Cathy's father, Prof. Coleman, was kidnapped, along with her sister Suzanne. A car pulls up along side Phil and some guys inside shoot Ethnic dude.

(Sorry about lack of names, there's roughly two thousand characters in this movie and they didn't give all of them names.)

Cathy, showing how smart she is, just says "Something's wrong with Ethnic Dude" and Phil pulls over. He's not too smart either when he declares "He's been shot!" Gee, you think? You two doorknobs were right there! Anyway they stuff the dead body in a phone booth and leave for Mandoras.

Once there, they meet a billion other people who are sneaking around. The Chief of Police greets Phil and Cathy and escort them to their hotel. Once there, Camino shows up and tells them, and us, a very interesting story.

Towards the end of World War 2, the Germans were worried something was gonna happen to Hitler, so they lopped off his head and put it in a jar. Soon, some dude burst in and killed everyone standing. Camino knows this cause Camino's brother, Ethnic Dude Dead In A Phone Booth With Money In His Hand, was one of the surgeons. Um, why would Hitler employ an Ethnic surgeon? Wasn't his big thing about a Master Race or something?

Anyway, so the head is "somewhere" (two guesses where it's at) and it's trying to TAKE OVER THE WORLD! MU-HA-HA-HA! And he's trying to take over the world by using the G-Gas! And he had Prof. Coleman kidnapped to get the antidote so the German's don't die or something.

So of course Phil don't believe this and Camino goes "eh, ok. Lates!" and he takes off. Phil and Cathy go shopping and stop in a bar to watch a belly dancer when they run into Suzanne. Suzanne is an annoying character cause she talks in hep cat language. Kinda like Doug's sister Judy. And I guess Suzanne has a thing for Phil cause for the remainder of the film, she's all over him. She even kisses him at some point. None of this is explored, of course. That'd make it a good movie.

Anyway, Suzanne is just there to tell them that there's an awful lot of German's hanging around this Mandoras place. There's also ANOTHER character simply named The Assassin who comes into the place. A weird shootout occurs where The Assassin is killed and Chief of Police shows up and arrests Phil for the murder, while Cathy and Suzanne are missing.
Ohhh artsy!
The Assassin's Yearbook Photo.
Also starring Carmen Miranda!
"Now Phil, show me on the map where Cuba is or else you get an F!"
Chief takes Phil to the house of El Presidente, where Cathy and Suzanne are waiting. Presidente tell Phil he must help with their plan on taking over the world by getting Coleman to talk. Chief takes Phil, Cathy, and Suzanne to Coleman, who's getting tortured by listening to a loud beeping noise. I gotta say, I find lout beeping noises annoying too. If you want to get information out of me, put me in a room with a loud beeping noise and I'll tell you where I hid the money, buried the bodies, and the truth about the existence of aliens.

Once reunited with Coleman, the Nazi's finally show up and one of them is David, a dude Suzanne was boinking at some point. She didn't know he was a Nazi, which seems like would be a good topic for Maury. "The results are in and YOU ARE NOT A NAZI!"

So the Nazi's decide to show Phil and the Coleman's something and that something turns out to be, dun-dun-DUNNN!!! Hitler's Head! And it's winking an awful lot, which I thought was how he communicated but no he can talk, so I dunno what's up with the blinking.
"Please stop playing that Clay Atkin album! I'll talk! I'LL TALK!!"
Uh, that's not how you hold a gun. Time to go back to Nazi School.
There's something a bit off with their symbol but I'm not exactly sure...
Clearly, the writers of "Futurama" seen this movie.
After seeing the head of the Nazi's (literally! *snicker*) they're taken back to their cell, when Phil sees Coleman has some matches. The matches thing was explained, where if presented in a certain way, means they're friends or enemies. Even though we don't know how they were presented, Phil thinks some good guys are there.

Sure enough, turns out El Presidente and The Chief are the good guys and don't want any part of this stupid plot, they're just being forced cause, well, they're Nazi's. It's what they do. So they know some shipment of the gas is coming in at midnight and they got a few hours to stop it.

The Nazi's grab Hitler's head and leave, while finding out the escape of Phil and the other Non-Nazi's, so they dispatch David to get them. El Presidente says it's a good idea for everyone to split up, Scooby Doo style so it's El Presidente, Chief, Suzanne, and Coleman in one car and Phil and Cathy in another.

After awhile, David manages to corner Phil and is about to shoot him when Chief arrives and shoots him. I should mention at this point that everybody in this movie seems to be related to everyone. Seems Camino is El Presidente's son while David is the son of this Texan guy that somehow figures into the plot but this movie is confusing enough. Texan guy gets pissed so a random Nazi shoots him.

Then all out of nowhere, there's a new group of characters that appeared out of nowhere and Suzanne is dating Camino. The fuck? I think they forgot to include a reel-oh wait, this is the "edited" version of another movie. So if you're confused, go watch "Madmen of Mandoras" and report back to me on what you find.

So the Nazi's are in a car with Hitler, saying the plane is almost landing. The Chief and the random group of people suddenly have grenades and plan on blowing the plane up with them. The Nazi's try to get Hitler out in time but Phil manages to get a grenade in the car in time and it blows up, along with the plane. Hilariously, Hitler dying is represented by a wax figure slowly melting in the flames.
"Jeez, we're clearly NOT riding alone, but Hitler still rides with us!"
Wow. Really, movie? Really? I mean...really?
And Suzanne decides to make EVERYBODY related to everyone by marrying Camino so now Phil and El Presidente are related and it's all one big jumbled mess. Speaking of, the final line doesn't make any sense. Cathy and Phil are finally alone after saving the world and ridding the world of G-Gas (apparently the ENTIRE supply was on that one plane) and since Phil's last name is Day, they have this conversation.

Cathy: I think you should change your name.
Phil: To what?
Cathy: What's the opposite of Day?
Phil: Oh you.
(Kiss. Roll credits.)

Um. Ok? So is Cathy telling Phil to become Batman or something? The hell does that mean? And there's no ending credits, and I'll be damned if I go back through this movie and write down all the names I missed. Sorry, call me lazy but I'm not doing it.