| House of Psychotic Women I'll Be Back On Wednesday! |
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| Jill-I'm sure there's some French way of spelling this, but to me he'll be Jill. He looks like a cross between John Belushi and Bob Hoskins. He does a lot in this movie. He's an ex-con, falls in love with all the females in the movie, and gets caught in a bear trap. Seriously. Claude-One of the sisters. Has a plastic arm from an accident she refuses to talk about. Falls in love with Jill. Nicole-One of the sisters. Royal slut. Sleeps with every guy she comes across. Yvette-One of the sisters. I swear she looks like this girl I went to school with named Brenda. She's in a wheelchair...or is she? LaPoor (LaPour?)-Doctor caring for Yvette. He has some issues, revealed later on. Michelle-Nurse hired to take care of Yvette. Pierre-Cop in this small town trying to figure out who's going around killing everyone. Rene-A little guy who sometimes helps the police out, when he's not leering at American women. |
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| This movie is something else. Made and starring mostly Spanish people but set in France, which just makes for an interesting film.
Jill is walking around France looking for a job. When Claude picks him up, she says he can work with her at her house as a handyman. He agrees and goes back to her house where he meets Claude's sisters, Nicole and Yvette. He gets an instant hard-on and flirts shamelessly with Nicole. Claude gets upset/jealous when she finds out that Nicole and Jill knocked da boots. But Jill says "Hey bring your one armed hand self over here and give me some lovin'" and they proceed to do it. Meanwhile, some killer is going around killing women and cutting their eyes out. Pierre is baffled by this and everyone seems to think Jill has something to do with it. It doesn't help any when he makes sexual advances on Yvette AND Michelle, and everyone finds out he was in prison a few years back. Even though he says he's a changed man, he still has fits of anger and has weird daydreams of choking some lady to death. When Dr. LaBoor finds a picture of Jill in the paper and shows it to Pierre, he goes to arrest Jill. But Claude warns Jill and they go running through the mountains like it's the sound of music or something. Before Jill can escape he gets shot about 500 times and finally, to add insult to injury, gets caught in a bear trap. Now the main character is dead, the movie should be over with, right? Well...nope. Michelle is walking to the house when she's attacked. She manages to stop the attacker, but that doesn't stop him...or her I should say. It's revealed that the one going around killing everyone is none other then Yvette! And she can really walk! Yvette kills Michelle using a wheelchair (I don't even know how to describe this, just take my word for it) but then ANOTHER masked figure kills Yvette. This is beginning to feel like "Wild Things". Pierre apparently found a big ol' box out in the woods labeled "Whodunit and why" cause suddenly he knows the answer. He explains that LaBoor hypnotized Yvette to walk around, killing blonde women and cutting their eyes out, because he once had a daughter with blue eyes but she died somehow and LaBoor isn't quite right in the head. He plans on taking these eyes and transplanting them to his quite dead daughter. Nicole found all this out early on and was killed. LaBoor freaks out and runs into a secret room in his office where his dead daughter is, slowly being eaten by maggots. It's a fun scene. And thankfully it's over. |
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| Now you're asking yourself, "But Jason, where does the house of psychotic women fit in?" Well...unless there's some unknown storyline involving Nicole and Claude, the only psycho was Yvette and that was just under hypnosis. So the title has me baffled. I just remembered when I first found out about this movie I thought it was porno. Boy was I wrong.
And be sure to pay attention to the music used in this movie. It sounds like rejected game show music. And I'd tell you my favorite line in the whole movie, but I gotta start up the next movie. So... I'll be back on Wednesday. |
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