| Killjoy The Ghetto "IT" |
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| Michael-Geek kid who gets pushed too far because he had a crush on Jada, so he resorts to an ugly clown doll and black magic. Jada-Girl Michael has a crush on. First dates Lorenzo, then dates Jamal. She's pretty hot. Monique-Jada's friend who doesn't seem to like Michael for some reason. Lorenzo-Gangbangin' "thug" who accidently kills Michael. T-Bone-One of Lorenzo's homie's. Baby Boy-Another one of Lorenzo's homies, but here's the twist! He's hispanic! Jamal-Jada's new boyfriend. This guy has a hard time remembering his lines and tends to sound gay at times. Mysterious Wino-Gives Jada, Monique, and Jamal all the backstory they need. No one seems scared at the mere presence of him. Killjoy-Evil and ugly ass ghetto clown. He makes horrible ghetto jokes and dances around way too much. Is suppose to be the spirit form of Michael? |
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| Yo, word, to begin this review, 'ight, I had to be rollin' with some homies down on the WEST SIIIIDE!!!!
(NOTE: Jason was severely beaten and he will now stop talking like that and get on with the review.) Sorry about that. So, "Killjoy". The story starts with two girlfriends (meaning they are friends and girls, you pervs...although the story would've been more interesting...but anyway) named Jada and Monique talking and the class geek Michael comes by. He has a thing for Jada, but she's dating Lorenzo, a thug from the streets, ight!! Sorry, don't beat me again. |
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| Thankfully, Jada always carries around a piece of fencing to protect herself from Michael. |
| Lorenzo and his "crew" T-Bone and Baby Boy (Who's hispanic by the way) beat the crap out of Michael because, well, Lorenzo is the jealous type. Beaten and bruised, Michael goes home and does what any geek in love does: goes on a shooting spree.
No, wait, that would've ended the movie a lot faster. Instead, he turns to black magic and tries to bring his clown doll, named Killjoy, to life. But the ritual is interrupted by Baby Boy, saying he just wants to talk, yo. But the talking turns into a kidnaping. And the kidnaping turns into a murder. Oh well, live and learn. |
| So the only thing Michael could afford for his room was candles, a knife, and a weird ass clown doll. |
| "Shh! I hear a train coming! Oh wait...I'm dead." |
| A year goes by and Jada, feeling empty now that her geek stalker has died, tries to move on and is getting it on with Jamal. Lorenzo and his "posse", meanwhile, are getting high. Lorenzo gets a beep from Kim, and she can fuck all night! And fuck all night they do. (Update Note: Something I've noticed in all these clown movies I've watched this month: they all contained sex and/or nudity. To quote my friend Mary, "It's scary that someone would associate clowns with sex & nudity". Scary indeed. But I'm not complaining, keeps things interesting.) While that's going on, Baby Boy and T-Bone are visited by a real life Killjoy, a clown that looks and acts like Homey The Clown, but less evil. Killjoy transports them into his world, which is a warehouse. There, he runs over Baby Boy and literally "smokes" T-Bone. You gotta see how he "smokes" him to get the full effect. |
| Man, it must be cold in that room. |
| I Scream! You Scream! We all Scream...FOR BLOODY MURDER!! MU HAHAHAHA!!! |
| BOOBIE SHOT!!! |
| Yeah, you should always trust a marijuanna cigarette just sitting on a chainlink fence inside a creepy warehouse. |
| He shouldn't have scratched at his athlete's foot. |
| After the fucking all night, Lorenzo is asked some Barbara Walter-style questions about the future, then he is called upon by Killjoy. After shooting Killjoy with unlimited rounds from a six shooter, Killjoy shoots back. Kim (That's not really her name, but she wasn't given one. She's called "Girl That Fucks All Night and Then Is Shown Naked In The Shower For No Reason" in the credits) discovers the body and runs away screaming like a good B-Actress with perky boobs, er, shoulders, can. In the off-chance you didn't seem to understand what was happening, a magical homeless man explains it to Jada, Monique, and Jamal. To sum up, Michael's black magic worked, but it was too late, so now Killjoy is going to kill anyone who wronged Michael. And it's up to Jada to stop him, since she is the object of desire by Michael. Got all of that, yo? 'IGHT! |
| Homie might not play that, but I most certainly do! |
| Monique doing her best to ignore the smell. And it must be cold in this room too. |
| So Jada, Monique, and Jamal goes to Killjoy's world to hunt him down, but they do battle with the dead spirits of T-Bone, Baby Boy, and Lorenzo. But since they're dead, they die easily...wait...what? Eh, nevermind. This movie is 20 minutes away from being over. I'm not gonna worry about it and you shouldn't either. Killjoy transforms into Michael and begs Jada to do the nasty with his dead spirit, but she rejects him the only way a woman would: stabbing his intestines to death. I use to complain how girls treated me in high school. I guess I won't anymore. |
| That really was a Hattori Hanzo sword. |
| This must be what it's like to kill Michael Jackson. |
| "HEEEY!! Wayne Brady's in the house!!" |
| Glad to see Michael's taking rejection well. |
| But since the movie is still 20 minutes short, Jada has to kill the doll itself, and she does, except the doll turns into Michael and she stabs him again. I'd wish he would've gotten the point by then but nooo! Anyway, the movie tricks us into thinking it's over, but we still got about 10 minutes left, so we get an explanation that since the experience, Jada's been having nightmares and she has one where she's at a bad jazz club while a bad jazz singer sings a bad jazz song while the class "clown" (Get it?) comes in, turns into Killjoy, and interrupts everything. But she wakes up and Jamal is next to her and he gets in the mood to travel "down south" and while that's happening, he turns into Killjoy. Oh, it's over. Wow. |
| "Michael, I hope that's a flashlight poking me..." |
| I sense that this night is going to end in a threesome. |
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| I found the corny "homeboy" jokes kinda humourous and the sheer fakeness of the entire thing. Lorenzo's car is obviously on a soundstage, they didn't bother to put any scenery behind or around the car. And the shower scene was just kind of out of place. Not a complaint, but it was intercut with Lorenzo's getting killed scenes. It was just kind of odd. But if you're from the 'hood and you like cheap laughs, yeah get it, 'ight. Peace out! |
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