King Kong vs Godzilla
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King Kong-You know him. Giant ape guy. Lives on an island. Seems to like to climb tall buildings with helpless women. You know.
Godzilla-Imfamous giant lizard who periodically destroys Japan.
Eric Carter-American reporter who lives in a giant floating roulette table in space, I think. Often reports about the fight and other not-as-exciting stuff.
Dr. Macino-He found this fruit that makes anyone fall asleep called "Soma". He vanishes after the first 10 minutes of the film.
Tyco/Taco-Geeky guy who runs a TV station. Hires two guys to kidnap Kong for higher ratings. He's really amusing in this movie.
Sakari-Guy sent to kidnap Kong.
Fajita-Either I was hungry or whoever wrote this was, cause this is the guy's name I swear. He invented some sort of steel wire that's impossible to break. THANKS PLOT DEVICE!
Nervous Guy-I didn't pick up on his name, but he's always nervous and complaining about his corns on his feet. Sent to the island with Sakari.
Japanese Gilligan-I swear if Bob Denver was Japanese, he'd be this guy. He's Sakari and Nervous Guy's guide to the island.
Flamaco-Fajita's girlfriend. End's up going to wherever Godzilla and/or Kong is. If I was Fajita, I'd break up with her, she's bad news, bear.
I've seen this movie a few times before reviewing it now and one thing always baffles me. Which I'll get to later. And I know certain people care about these things, so if you're one of them, and you don't wanna know who wins the big fight, don't read this review, or at least the end of it.

American news anchor Eric Carter sits in his giant roulette table in outer space and reports that some crazy ass shit is going down. This doctor dude went to this island, found some sort of berry where if you consume it, you'll pass out instantly. It's like vodka in berry form. The doctor says the people on the island are rather stingy about who gets these berries cause they mainly use it to feed their giant god, who has been unseen by outsiders.

Taco (I thought it was Tyco but everyone's clearly saying Taco), a guy who runs a TV station in Toyko, decides to send some guys to this island to bring back this giant god so it'll sing and dance and delight the kids. I think this plot has been used before (Mighty Joe Young, Gorgo, Barney...what you think it's just a guy in a purple suit? Get real!), but that don't stop Taco.

So off goes Sakari and the Nervous Guy, whom I'll name Steve cause it's much easier to type then Nervous Guy, and even easier then whatever his name really is. They, along with the Japanese Gilligan, who I'll just name Gilligan, arrive on the primative island.
Meanwhile, a bunch of knuckleheads on a submarine end up blowing up a glowing piece of rock. It turns out this is Godzilla's fortress of solitude and he's rather pissed off. So he kills the people on the sub and heads to Japan to sow his wild giant oats.

Sakari, Steve, and Gilligan are roaming around the island when, for some odd reason, a giant octopus attacks. Where does he come from? What does he want? Why is he there? We don't know because everyone starts shooting at it. Well, more like start shooting the wall where his image is displayed. The graphics and special effects in this movie isn't exactly Lucasfilm material. Well guess who shows up to destroy the monster and make calimari for everyone?

Donkey Kong. No wait. His brother King Kong. He basically tells the octopus to am-scray, this is my turf, and it does so. Then he gets drunk on Soma (the berry drink) and passes out. The natives start dancing and singing to his tribute. Sakari and Steve kidnap him.

This is one thing I don't understand about this movie. Kong is being carried on a raft by a bigger boat. When Taco arrives via helicopter (Mission Accomplished) and they look at Kong, Sakari mentions not to push down on this plunger because it's connected to the dynamite that's on Kong's raft.

...WHAT?!?! Why would they put dynamite on the raft if they plan on bringing him to Japan all safe-like? This makes NO SENSE!!

But then we realize what the film makers were going for. The Japanese goverment storm the boat and tells them that Kong must be destroyed because he's considered a menance (duh!). So while trying to blow him up, he gets free and chaos ensues.

So now both Godzilla and Kong are stomping around Japan. Everyone's in a big panic and it isn't long before Kong has flashbacks to that day in New York SOOO long ago...hey didn't he die? Hm, maybe not. Anyway, he snatches up Flamaco and climbs a tower and bellows loudly.

Sakari and Fajita splash Kong with Soma and soon he passes out. Realizing the only way to get rid of these two giant problems is to have them fight it out on Mount Fuji! So off they go and it's quite a fight.

Spoiler! Ok, you've been warned.

It looks like Kong is gonna lose but since electricity makes him stronger, and there just happens to be a lighting storm nearby, he comes back to life and kicks Godzilla's ass! That kinda sucked for me cause I happen to like Godzilla.

And that's my other problem with this movie. Godzilla is a Japanese product. So why are all these Japanese people rooting for King Kong? That just seems wrong. And another thing is for some odd reason when this was Americanized, instead of just dubbing the voices into English, which is normal, but they added scenes of American actors talking about Godzilla and King Kong fighting and stuff. It doesn't really make any sense.
Besides all that stuff, this is a fairly entertaining movie. I like that Taco guy. Look out for his classic line "NNNNNNNNNNO!!!!!!!!!!" It'll make you laugh for hours and hours on end.
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