Sleepaway Camp
The Best Worst Fucked Up Movie Ever!
Angela-Shy teenage girl who never talks and has the second creepiest stare ever, next to Donnie Darko.
Ricky-Angela's cousin. He's rather protective of her and every other word out of his mouth is a curse word.
Aunt Martha-Ricky's mom, who adopted Angela when her dad died. Will she ever win mother of the year? No...she won't do at all.
Mel-Camp director who is possibly the worst actor I've ever seen. He reminds me of a guy you'd find in a mafia movie.
Artie-Perverted cook at the camp.
Paul-Ricky's friend who falls for Angela. If only he knew what he was getting himself into.
Judy-Mega bitch who terrorizes Angela. Her death would send shockwaves to women worldwide.
Meg-Also a mega bitch. She gets a "Psycho" inspired death.
Camp Councilors-The guy councilors look like they belong in some muscle magazine and talk like Fonzi. The female ones are all bitches.
The other kids at Camp-I guess they have no souls or something cause they all, collectively, terrorize Angela in some way, shape, or form.
After hearing about 3 million people tell me "YOU GOTTA SEE 'SLEEPAWAY CAMP'!! IT'S FUCKED UP, IT'S TWISTED, AND IT'S UP YOUR ALLEY!!" After I thank them for such a compliment I said hell with it and got it. And, dear readers, was I in for a treat.

We see a dad and his two kids out on a boat in a lake while some teenagers zip around in a speedboat. Because they're stupid clumsy anteaters, I mean teenagers, and they don't know how speedboat's work, they kill Dad and one of the kids. The other kid is basically just scarred for life and pretty much never wants to see water or teenagers ever again.

Jump to eight years later and we see Aunt Martha getting Angela, the surviving kid, and Ricky, Martha's actual son, ready to go to camp. She's really weird and tends to say "No...that wouldn't work at all!" a lot. And the chick playing her tends to way overact. She actually says it like, "NO!!! THAT wouldn't work AT ALL!!" It is hard to describe.
Anyway, off they go and everyone realizes that Angela is kind of on the creepy and quiet side. And it's at this point you think to yourself, "Oh, this is your typical horror slasher movie and Angela is going to redeem herself and everyone is going to like her." Yeah, that's what I thought too. But nope.

This movie is just loaded with creepy characters, like Artie, who comments on the kids running in a way that make you throw up for a good five minutes. We learn that he really is a creep when he tries to corner Angela and starts disrobing. Thankfully, Ricky shows up and saves her.
No one likes Angela's quiet nature and I thought she was going to go the entire movie without a single line, cause all she does is stare at people really creepy like. It's only a matter of time before Judy and Meg start picking on her. Even some of the councilors are like, "Hey Creepy Girl, eat something, ya jerk!".

After the whole encounter with Artie, we soon realize that his number is up when he's in the kitchen with an insanely large pot that is just full of boiling water. And of course we get the killer's point of view so we see the killer push the insanely large pot of boiling water on him. Then we're treated to a nice 5 minute scene of Artie screaming his head off while Mel tries to cover it up, telling the semi-retarded old guy Ben that he's now the main cook AND to tell the kids Artie "moved to an animal farm where he'll be happy".
Now, I got why Artie got injured. As far as I could tell he wasn't going to die, just be in pain for the rest of his life and he deserved it, so I was on the killer's side here. But I didn't get what Kenny did that was so horrible where he died. Maybe the killer was just sick of hearing nothing but mumbling.

Mel really freaks out but tries to keep everyone calm but continuing with camp activities like normal. Meanwhile Angela and Paul's relationship starts getting weird when anytime Paul kisses her, she just stands there staring off in space. Maybe she's just not that into you.

Things really get fucked up when Paul is trying to get fresh with her but she has some odd flashbacks of two guys in bed making out while two kids laugh and point. This causes her to freak out and run away. The next day, Paul is quite mad with her and starts making out with Judy. Angela sees this and gets quite upset and goes back to her usual silent way, just simply ignoring Paul.
Now, I know I have written somewhere on the site that if you don't want to have anything spoiled for you, you shouldn't be reading my reviews since I go into extreme details and give away the endings. People usually complain if you don't give them such a warning, so you have been warned TWICE! So I don't wanna hear it. Ready?
Here we go!

Yes, Angela is the killer. BUT!!! GET THIS!! When Aunt Martha adopted Angela, she decided that one boy was quite enough, so when the suriving BOY from the first scene in the movie moved in, Martha turned him into a girl AND named him Angela. Now, how do we know this? Well, we get an oddly placed flashback explaining Aunt Martha doing so, but we also see Angela standing over Paul's dead body naked and we see her/his/whatever wee-wee. And she gives the creepiest stare yet. I actually shuddered.

And I don't shudder.
The first 85-89 minutes of the movie is honestly horrible, with horrible acting, worse dialouge, and just fucked up storytelling. But that last minute, let me tell you. It's really, really...something. I'm just at a lost for words here. I say just put up with the horribleness of it all to see the ending, Angela's creepy stare, and weird ass song at the end for yourself. And because of all that I give this movie
Read The Reviews!
Not for long. I hear The Vorhees' are interested.
"See son, some day you'll be as hairy as-HEY! Don't jump in the water I'm talking to you!"
If it burns while you pee in the water, it's probably time to get out.
"I should change this ugly wallpaper. It simply will not do!"
Chris Hansen's Father, ironically.
"Hey, Beefcake Guy, put some underwear on, you're making the kids sick."
It's like if Al from "Quantum Leap" was in the mob or something.
"Hey little girl, you wanna lick a SPECIAL popiscle?"
Then for no particular reason, we get a 10 minute scene of a baseball game happening between, uh, two sets of teams. I couldn't tell who each team was, but Ricky was on one of them and he was cursing the whole time. Oh Ricky, you're my favorite character I think.

Angela is just sitting off to the side, minding her own business, but Meg (M-E-G!) and Judy just HAVE to pick on her. It's like in the rule book or something. For some strange reason, Ricky's friend Paul decides to make his move and Angela actually likes him and this is when we realize that she has a voice. So now anytime Angela is picked on, it's either Ricky or Paul coming to her rescue.

And for some strange reason, Judy gets jealous of all the attention Paul is giving Angela. I just don't know who's she's jealous of.

Later that night, a bunch of guys try to convince a group of girls to go skinny dipping, but they won't be showing their oddly shapped ta-ta's for any boys! So instead of just giving up and going home, the boys strip and jump in all together. This is only the start of the homoeroticism. Trust me.

Eventually, some kid named Kenny gets killed. Those bastards!
"Well, after terrorizing little kids all day, it's time to cook with my RIDICULOUSLY HUGE ASS POT full of BOILING WATER here."
Wow! I wonder what superpowers, or super-villain-powers he's gonna get from this? Boiled Man? Steam Man? Blister Man?
Not so much on the Skin's side, but not so much on the shirts side. I guess he's bi.
I'll give anyone five bucks if they can re-create this pose without hurting themselves. Well, anybody beside this actress. Obviously it's her talent.
"Look, we're lesbians. We're not interested in skinny dipping with you."
I always wondered what Kenny looked like under that hood.
I wonder if this counts as necophilia.
Man, he's disco dancing something fierce here.
From Here To Eternity Goes To Camp
I seriously said "What the fuck" when this came up. I mean it literally comes out of nowhere.
We get more teasing of Angela and a few campers here and there are killed and Mel suspects Ricky for some odd reason. Then when night hits, the killer goes on one big killing spree. Not only is Meg stabbed in the shower, but Judy gets a pretty horrible killing. Let's say it involves a hot curling iron and a, ah, body part where such things can fit.

I can hear women all over reading that just cringing.

Something I forgot to mention. This movie tops the creepy-o-meter what with all the pedofile crap going on. Not only with Artie, but Mel and Meg had some kind of thing going on. So when Mel is looking around for Meg and finds her dead body, he totally flips his shit and starts hunting down Ricky, thinking he's the killer. His solution to stopping Ricky? Slap the shit out of him.

After Ricky passes out, Mel just simply leaves, but soon comes face to face with the REAL killer and gets an arrow in his apple. His Adam's Apple to be specific.
NO! NOT THE BEES!! MY EYES!! AHH!!!
John Travolta!
I sense a cheater in the National Shadow Puppet Championship.
This is why people shouldn't perform their own tracheotomies.
Many review sites are too chicken shit to show the full image. But at the same time, I don't wanna offend anyone. So roll your mouse over this picture to see the rest.
IF YOU DARE!!!
Before we get to the final word and rating I did wanna point out two things.

One, this cop. At one point during filming he shaved off his mustache and when it came time to film the ending, they had to improvise. Since we're having fun with the mouse roll-over function, roll over the bottom picture with your mouse to see the most hilariously bad fake mustache ever in the history of the world.
Two, if I had a paid Livejournal account, I would so totally make the following mood themes. Here are the many moods of Angela.
Happy
Hungry
Whistful
Contemplative